Monday, June 21, 2010
An Ode to The Turd
I wasn’t very excited about you the day we met.
To me you were a means to get from point A to point B.
The fact that your interior color reminded me of fecal matter
Led to your unfortunate name
The Turd
Which I secreted from many
who wants a car called The Turd?
My lack of naming creativity was your dismay, I’m sure.
However, we’ve had quite the thrilling six-year stint
together you and me.
We’ve moved homes three times.
Once you had a garage
those were the days.
But mostly, you’ve been exposed to the elements 24/7.
Thanks for being such a good sport
and not getting rusty on me.
Then there was that fateful day
When I trusted the hand motion of another driver
and got us both in a bind:
My pocket book and your front and back bumpers.
You weathered that storm well too, and might I say, you sure do look good all new!
Sorry about that yellow paint on the driver’s side mirror.
I’ve always wondered why they put those yellow painted cement posts so close to the ATM.
Now I know…guess if it wasn’t for the yellow post, it would have been the ATM!
You were a great companion and friend
between my various destinations
Illinois, Bloomington, Florida, Pennsylvania,
but mostly work, home, and church.
It’s just too bad that I recently figured out the front seats can hold up to three people.
Shoot, we could have had a party of six going on as often as we wanted!
You weathered the random car seat carriers well between my nephews and friends.
And anyone who was graced by your presence seemed to appreciate the solid Turd that you are.
Oh, and I can’t forget our dead of winter trips
where I held your driver’s side door shut as tight as I could since it simply wouldn’t latch.
You were always faithful to warm up enough so the door could close
by the time we reached our destination.
I at least got a good upper arm workout especially while turning right.
Whew!
We have been through a lot together, haven’t we?
I would be amiss not to mention the wings you tried to spread.
I don’t blame you,
but do you really think loosening your door upholstery
would help you be free of me?
Or maybe you were just craving some tender loving care.
Well, you got it.
I lovingly fastened your fabric back to the door frames…where they are meant to be.
Alas, now it’s time to let go of you.
The day I paid off your debt, I started saving for a new car.
Yet that never stopped you from running smoothly and doing your job well.
Thank you for being such a faithful friend.
Soon, you’ll have a new loving owner who will hopefully have better naming abilities.
I cherish our six years together and am even brought to tears
thinking of how good you’ve been to me.
Farewell to my faithful friend, The Turd.
May you have plenty of opportunities to create happy memories with your new owner
And many more years of smooth running.
Jamie at 6:51 PM
